yogaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

...that i made it through teaching my first yoga class relatively unscathed.  after getting my cert in june, it took me a little bit to apply and audition, but next week i officially start teaching two classes per week.  backing up to last night though, i was covering a class for someone else.  as i told the husband, "if it goes well, great.  and if it's a disaster, at least i never have to see those people again." 

{famous last words}

 

i wish i was joking, but here are a few things that went wrong last evening:

source

*i was so into the awesome songs playing on my radio that i completely missed my freeway exit.  i didn't realize i'd missed it until i was four exits further than i wanted to go.  i then got stuck at a train crossing while my gps was trying to guide me to the gym while i looked at the clock every 2.5 seconds hoping not to be late.  {thank goodness i wasn't}

 

*i finally arrived to said gym and find that the equipment {microphone pack and cover screen} promised to me by the woman who called me to sub was, in fact, not anywhere to be seen.  no biggie, i'll just use the same setup the instructor teaching before me used.  i'll discreetly let her know it's my first class, and she'll be more than happy to walk me through.  i'm sure you can see where this is going.

 

*zumba instructor satan jennifer was none too pleased when i interrupted her conversation to politely ask about the mic.  "oh, i don't really use the mic.  i'll put the cd in for you.  good luck."  before sprinting out the door, she proceeds to announce to everyone setting up for yoga that it is, in fact, my very first class.  cue scow-ly faced me.  she obvs. doesn't know that the first rule of subbing is never admit that you're new.

 

*i decide i'm over using a mic anyway and spend the next couple of minutes with my booty to the class trying to adjust volume, lights and whatnot.  we finally get going and start our deep breathing.  yoga is supposed to be relaxing, after all.

 

*for whatever reason, the stereo is set on stopping after each individual song instead of playing all the way through.  i don't realize this until after the second time i've left my pose to hit play again.  i suppose i could try and correct it, but at this point, hitting play every few minutes is really not that big a deal.  i can only hope that the members are so blissed out that they don't notice the extended pause bt songs.

 

*i catch a glance at myself in the mirror about 20 minutes into class and realize that i am nervously sweating.  not glowing, but ugly sweating.  eeeeewwww. 

 

*miraculously, the sequence i've planned plus a few filler moves take up the whole hour and i end the class with a relaxing shivasana.  i mention that i'm teaching a few regular classes and someone asks me what time my huntington beach class is.  god bless you, lady in the blue tshirt.  you made my night.

 

*the icing on the cupcake was when the cd got stuck in the stereo and i couldn't get it to eject after class.  luckily, i was alone by this point.  i finally shut the whole thing down and restarted to get it out.  but seriously, i would have been okay with the cd as collateral damage by that point.

 

that was a long ramble, but i'm hoping the moral of this story is that old show biz saying about a bad dress rehearsal means a great opening night.  because, yikes.  a girl's blood pressure can only remain elevated for so long.  i was so keyed up when i got home that i rolled around in bed until 2:30am.  i'm a treat today.